 |
| A long-forgotten guru spoof was a staple of Danny Kaye's stage shows in the 1950s and 1960s. |
Danny Kaye’s career first took off when he started
performing the specialty songs of wife-to-be Sylvia Fine, in particular the
“character numbers,” in which Danny played and sang the history or philosophy
of an exotic personality, such as French hat designer “Anatole of Paris,”
suffering acting teacher “Stanislavsky,” or ballet legend “Pavolva.”
Performances of most of these numbers have been preserved,
either in Danny’s movies, his TV specials or series, his radio series, or his
records. A few, alas, never were and, of those, the one he performed most
frequently was a spoof of an Indian meditation master, “Yogi.” The song was
written for Kaye’s stage act in the 1950s by Herbert Baker (possibly assisted
by Fine, since she often teamed with Baker).
Imagine Danny with a Middle Eastern accent, singing:
I--------------am Yogi
From Cooch-Behar
Sing song in nasal voice
Accompanied by nasal catarah
Nya-nya-nya all night and all day
Like a bleating lamb
People think I’m Robert Goulet
And sometimes I am
(Talking) Permit me to introduce myself.
My name is Ocleoole (gibberish).
I must modestly tell you, I am
Number One Television Star in India.
India birthplace of television.
We have original cast of “Untouchables.”
I must also modestly tell you that my show is most popular
in India.
All Yogis wait for my show on pins and needles.
Name of show, “Rawhide.”
(Singing) Every morning as the sun rises
I give Yogi exercises
On the tee-vee in my bee-vee
Dees and does that follow
My recommendation swallow
My sponsor’s creation
Made especially for men and wives
Who plan to lead at least seven lives.
The only product of its ilk,
Re-incarnation milk.
(Talking) What do Yogis recommend for pain of
Neuralgia, neuritis, misery, colds,
Headache, and nagging neckache?
Nothing!
Pain is good for you! Pain is just
Nature’s way of saying… OUCH!
First principle of Yogi—
Assume Lotus position.
First principle of Lotus position—
Do not cross legs till you come to them.
Second principle of Yogi.
Most difficult exercise of all.
Breathing.
Are you breathing more and enjoying it less?
Third principle of Yogi.
Eliminate bad habit. Bad habit very bad for you if habit bad…
(continues on with this nonsense as long as he can milk it).
(Singing) Anything that’s habit bad for you they say
Breathing is a habit
Stop it right away
(Talking) You will find, ladies and gentlemen,
When you stop breathing how very simple
It is to give up smoking.
Final principle, most important of all.
Contemplate.
(Singing) If you have a navel,
Sit and contemplate it.
I contemplate it, I hate it.
One day while contemplating navel
Happy as can be—
Suddenly I find my navel contemplating me
I----------am tired
Of being Yogi
Control, control,
I’m finished with control.
I sing, I’m gay,
I laugh all day.
I’m happy as a clam.
People think I’m Danny Kaye.
And sometimes I am.
